Go ahead, insert criticism {here}... Or better yet, let me give you a few moments to stop laughing and compose yourself. Ready? Okay... Don't worry we've heard it all. Our decision to have our first baby at home has been met with a lot of worry and criticism from our family and friends. We totally understand the worry and well, the criticism, that just comes with the territory. My favorite comments thus far are from those who've experienced the pain of labor.... comments like "Just wait till those contractions start getting stronger, you'll be begging to go to the hospital" or "Don't kid yourself, get the drugs". It's almost a rookie vs. veteran war out there and since we all know I'm a rookie when it comes to birthing a baby, people automatically assume I'm crazy for making such a bold decision. It's sad, I would assume more women would be encouraging me, but as I'm learning, birth can be a touchy subject with other women, especially if their experience was less than stellar. I respect all women and their choices surrounding birth... it's their business, their bodies and overall their experience. Who am I to say what choices are right and wrong. All I can do is make a plan for myself and my baby and hope that people will respect me in the same way I do them.
What brought us to this decision: I owe a lot of my new found knowledge to a very dear friend who came over to my house one day and woke me up from my 1st trimester stupor. I was so overwhelmed with being pregnant and sick that the last thing I wanted to focus on was how I was going to birth this baby. I figured I would just go to the hospital. I really hadn't put much thought into other options. I didn't even know there
were other options. She shared her birth story with me and I was hooked from there. It wasn't a painful, dramatic, emergency-like birth story. You know the ones, we've all heard them. (Unfortunately, we hear about them all too often.) Her story was so positive. Shortly after our talk, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to have this baby naturally. I was determined to read and watch everything I possibly could to prepare my mind, body and soul to have this baby without any medical intervention. I switched from an OB to a local midwife. I wanted to work with someone who viewed birth as a natural process not a medical one. I was content, but I still didn't feel like I was going to get the unmedicated birth I wanted. A few months later Dave and I enrolled ourselves into an all natural birth class. This is also where we met our Doula. After speaking with her about some concerns I had with my current midwife, she asked if I had ever considered a home birth. A birth at home? Yeah, that sounded scary to me, but after talking to her she alleviated almost all of my fears. When Dave and I returned home that evening, we realized that in order to do this our way we had to take the birth of our baby out of the hospital and into a place we found most comfortable... HOME.
(My Defense: Yes, it's possible to have a natural childbirth in a hospital, but it's rare. It requires a lot of advocacy on your part, a Midwife or an OB that works under the midwifery model of care and an extensive birth plan and well, way too much energy that neither of us felt like exerting. I highly reccommend the documentaries "The Business of Being Born", "Orgasmic Birth" or "Pregnant in America".) Our decision was inevitable, we couldn't deny how passionately we felt about all aspects of our birth being natural and so the choice was made.
Where we are today: Today we are working with a home birth midwife that we adore. The quality of care I get from her far surpasses that I've gotten from any doctor thus far. She's sympathetic, encouraging, nurturing and she gives the best hugs! She's certified and knowledgeable in all aspects of birth. She truly believes a women's body is meant to birth a baby. She's just there to assist in the process. We love how she always encourages Dave to play an active roll in my pregnancy and she will only schedule evening appointments with us to ensure Dave is present. We love her already and couldn't be more pleased and comfortable with our decision.
My Body: Both Dave and I want to make sure my body is in the best condition possible to facilitate an easier labor. You wouldn't show up to a Marathon without months of training, would you? Well, neither are we! I've had to make some major changes in my diet, high in good fats and protein, green veggies and fresh fruit. I'm taking lots of vitamins and herbal teas to get my uterus in the strongest condition possible. It's been tough, as I'm not the type to watch what I eat... but this isn't about just me anymore. We've been trying to eat as local as possible and switched to drinking milk straight from the farm and thanks to my family we have access to fresh eggs... not the store bought kind. (That's a whole other blog post in itself). Don't get me wrong... I still indulge. We all remember that dill pickle chip incident and well I hate to admit it but I've graduated from one ice cream cone before bed, to two ice cream cones! I gotta have a little fun here. Today marks the first day of no chairs. I'm now sitting on a birth ball only, this allows my uterus to get into the best position possible. Posture has a lot to do with your labor outcome. I'm also seeing a chiropractor to get my whole body aligned, especially my pelvis. We don't want little Henry getting caught up on a titled pelvis... which is very common. We've even gotten rid of our cable... which doesn't seem like it has anything to do with labor, but not having access to my favorite shows has allowed both of us to spend more time reading and talking. It's given us time to prepare in ways we may not have otherwise. I'm not perfect, I'm still learning (hence the blog title "Little Owl Mama")... just simply a mother making her very first decision and willing to share it with the world.
Healthy Mom / Healthy Baby: Above all we want the outcome of a healthy mom and a healthy baby. Our goal is to accomplish this in the comfort of our own home. But, we also realize that emergencies happen and for that, thank god we have hospitals and doctors. If something arises and there is a need for a hospital transport, our midwife is knowledgeable enough to make that judgement call and we fully trust her to do so. Until then, we will continue to encourage each other and do whatever is necessary to prepare my body for our ultimate goal. A happy, blissful, peaceful birth at home, not only for us but for our baby.
Dave and I learn something new everyday and applying these new principles to our lives is not something that happens overnight, we're better today then we were yesterday and so on and so forth we will continue to live. Won't you join us on our journey?
Some of my favorite quotes:
"Midwives see birth as a miracle and only mess with it if there's a problem; doctors see birth as a problem and if they don't mess with it, it's a miracle!" - Barbara Harper in Gentle Birth Choices
"Treating normal labors as though they were complicated can become a self-fulfilling prophecy." - Rooks
"Women's strongest feelings [in terms of their birthings], positive and negative, focus on the way they were treated by their caregivers." - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin
Photo Credit:
christine [cbszeto] at Flickr
